we went to the bahamas to see my boyfriend's parents as well as celebrate the life of a deceased family friend, tim. among many great memories made that weekend, i remember a conversation with my beloved's magnificent mother. it mainly entailed one of my favorite philosophies, which we share, and that is that everything happens for a reason. she
told me that when she was in college, she wrote herself a letter that she would read in five years, and it was really interesting to compare where she thought her life would go to where it actually went.
when i began this post in the bahamas, i intended to write a letter to myself outlining my goals and addressing a more mature me. as i readdress this task, i feel compelled to take the letter in another direction. so here is my letter to my thirty year old self containing not only my hopes and dreams, but also my daily reminders to myself.
dear jenna,
happy thirtieth birthday! i am sure that this letter arrives to a healthy and happy young woman who possesses the same passion for life as we do now. at twenty five years old, i feel like we have a firm grasp on life, yet i still feel so young and excited to see what is next. the next five years will be so full of changes. i promise to try my best to remember our blessings and take each day with an open mind.
before i get into our hopes and dreams, i feel that it is important to reaffirm our values and beliefs as well as remind you of promises that we made to ourself at twenty-five. first and foremost, accept love with open arms and give nothing but love in return. don't fear what scares you, embrace the challenge. look at the positive side of every situation. believe that you deserve the best and never forget that. don't doubt those who genuinely care for you. believe in the virtue of trust (this is what makes you beautiful). speak openly and from your heart. feel your way through life and don't let your head get wrapped up in your world (this is important for us).
now, onto the beauty of life.....
most significantly, i fully intend to marry the man of our dreams, whom i've recently found. looking into his eyes and making the sacred vow to stand next to him for eternity will be the most profound moment of our life. i have never wanted to give myself to anyone more in our twenty five years on this earth, and i couldn't imagine loving anyone more than we love him. i cannot wait to build a home together and support each other's hopes and dreams with the same passion as our own.
in may, i will begin our seventh summer working for uda. although it is exhausting at times, we continue to try to make our mark in this world through dance. even if we make a difference in one girl's life, our job will be done. plans for a dance studio are in the works, and may still be as i write you this letter. although the details can be frustrating, please continue to imagine a sanctuary for people to move without fear or inhibition, to express themselves without words, to speak a universal language through our choreography and movement.
the baby factor is still up in the air at this point, but know this: every time i see my future husband playing with our nieces and nephews, i can't help but feel warmth knowing that we may have that someday, and feel that same certainty i had when i met our one true love. if all goes well for us at thirty, i am sure that you are up late at night staring at our baby with amazement that such a small child can intrigue so much beauty and love.
lastly, remember to take care of those we love. try not to get caught up in the rest of the world and keep loved ones close by. although life gets crazy, take time for mom. call your brother at least once a week and tell him you love him. stay involved in your niece's and nephew's lives (like i really have to tell you this). we've dealt with losses, and i'm sure you've dealt with a few others by this point, but try not to dwell on the negative but rather live an honest and wonderful life that those who have passed can be proud of.
a few final reminders.....
share your smile with others every opportunity, laugh often, and if you need a break from it all, just breathe. believe that you can handle any situation. believe in yourself.
love always,
jenna
listen to: the luckiest by ben folds...."and where was i before the day that i first saw your lovely face? now i see it everyday and i know that i am, i am, i am the luckiest"
