an exercise in humility

this blog is primarily about my experiences in life.  i try to avoid blogging about my opinions on others or the way they live their lives.  i just try to make sense of my own via random thoughts posted on the wonderful world of the internet.  for those of you who follow or happen to run by one of my posts, maybe you can relate.  if not, some of my random thoughts make for nice conversation pieces in awkward social situations.

one of my friends recently did a post entitled "fifteen reasons why i suck".  of course after reading it, i totally hijacked it for the polka dot cheesecake room (how original).  i thought it would be a nice exercise in humility, so to speak (er, type).

so here are fifteen reasons why i suck.

one:  i spend way too much money on makeup that i never wear.  i literally walk into mac for one item, then they ask the forbidden question:  "is there anything else you need?"  my reply is alway, "i don't know what do you think?"  duh. 

two:  i get slight anxiety when different foods touch on the same plate.  thanksgiving/christmas dinners are just an open invitation for my family to mess with me.  also, i usually look like to total fat ass at any type of buffet or potluck dinner with my three to four plates.

three:  about ninety percent of the time, i enjoy the company of children more than i do adults.  that may explain why i have yet to grow up myself.

four:  i suck at fixing my hair.  my hairstylist, bless her heart, fixes my hair more often than myself.  someday i will take her on vacation.  

five:  i am bad about taking care of items that i spend a lot of money on i.e. my vehicle.  oil changes would not occur if it weren't for my parents.  my computer/pda/ipod have been dropped one too many times.

six:  i don't do much long-term planning.  i'm not much of a day-to-day girl either.  month-to-month is a great time span in terms of planning.  i have no idea where i will be next year or what i will be doing.  i used to live by the book "women and money" by suze orman.  not so much anymore.

seven:  i react to emotional situations awkwardly.  for example, if i'm really angry i will laugh hysterically.  if i'm really sad, i giggle.  ok i guess i pretty much laugh too much.

eight:  i am terrified of birds.  if they are near me, i get short of breath and my heart races.  i stop talking (see number seven).  it tends to make social situations a little discomfited.

nine:  i tend to overbook myself, both professionally and socially.  i have to back out of appointments and social gatherings too often, but i also require jenna time.  my introvert side pleas for attention at times.

ten:  i despise routine vacuuming.  there has to be some sort of noise created by sucking up dirt, crumbs, etc to provide satisfaction.  that's probably why i love cleaning windows and dusting.  i need instant positive reinforcement in my cleaning efforts.

eleven:  i push the speed limit way too often.  i don't consider myself an impatient person, i just hate sitting around in my car. 

twelve:  to piggyback on number eleven, i get really bored while driving and do things that i probably shouldn't do....editing documents on my pda, painting my toenails, etc.

thirteen:  i outsource many common household duties, which is why i would make a horrible housewife.  when i lived in hawaii, i hired a laundry service.  i don't sew....that's what tailors are for.  i strategically purchase clothes that will never need ironing.

fourteen:  i have really long eyelashes and the inside of my eyelids always itch.  i can't fight the urge to scratch it, so i always do in public and people probably look at my like some kind of circus freak.

fifteen:  i obsessively chew orbiz bubblemint gum out of habit.  i purchase the big containers that fit in your vehicle's cup holders; chew a piece for about two or three minutes; then roll down the window, spit it forward and swat at it at my hand so it flies out the window.  that took a lot of practice and i had plenty of chewed gum on my dashboard to show for it.

listen to:  Hey Ya by Obadiah Parker...."if what they say that nothing is forever, than what makes loves the exception"